Your Secret for a Calm Bedtime: The Old Wooden House eBook

💤 The Book Designed So Kids Never Finish It

✔️ Topics: Strategically dull. I analysed and selected the most soporific themes (fruit, insects, family cosiness) to create a high 'Pleasantness Index' and a near-zero 'Surprise & Delight Index'.

✔️ Language: Repetitive and lulling, the text is crafted with deliberate monotony to slowly lower heart rates, not raise them.

✔️ Visuals: No pictures, to allow the mind to relax without visual stimulation (and so that they keep their eyes closed!).

✔️ Narration: Past tense, to evoke calm memories, not the excitement of the unknown.

🎧 [Free Audiobook Sample]

Trusted by Tired Parents Worldwide:

🛌 "My son made it to 11 minutes. He fell asleep. I didn't expect the fairy tale to actually be 'soporific'!" – Julia V.

🛌 "I read it to my daughter... and it worked! She fell asleep." – Alexandra A.

As Featured on BBC Online:

As featured on BBC Radio Suffolk:

As featured on Virgin Radio:

What you get in this instant-download eBook:

• The full, deliberately uneventful text of The Old Wooden House.
• The Scribble Pages: (perfect if you print it!) Mostly blank pages with prompts, giving kids permission to do the unthinkable - scribble in a book!
• The Parent-Child Challenge: A fun activity for a giggle-filled bonding moment (for earlier in the day!).
• Multiple formats: .PDF (best for printing), .EPUB (for Apple devices).

👉 Click "Buy this!" to finally win bedtime and reclaim your evening - for less than the price of a pack of apples.